All That I Am Able To Give
by Cassandra Sita Terra
Summary: What happens to the Doctor after Doomsday. This is season 2. There are Spoilers!


All That I Am Able To Give

by Cassandra Terra

Author's Note: This is a post Doomsday Fanfic. This takes place after Rose and the Doctor are separated. That being said, I don't own any of these characters. I'm not making any money off of them and never will.

And just like that she was gone. I put my ear up against the wall and I could almost pretend I could hear he across time and space. Through the void that separated us. I could almost hear her heart beat. Almost.

I tried to tell myself that she was safe and with her family. They would take care of her. They would help her. But I knew in my hearts that it wasn't enough for her.

I remembered Sarah Jane talking to Rose. I always though it would be me leaving her and not the other way around. And I couldn't deal with this emptiness that ate a hole in me.

I walked slowly back to the Tardis, feet dragging the whole way. Around me, everyone was happy to be alive. I'd saved the world again. But before it had always been for her. Now this victory was ashes.

The Tardis felt like a tomb. She had filled it with so much light and energy. She made the Tardis alive. She made me remember to live again. What am I going to do without her? How can I move on? I've asked this so many times whenever I lost a companion, but this time it's different. This time... I felt the tears on my face and I didn't know how they had gotten there.

I remembered what Sarah Jane had said to Rose. Sarah Jane has told Rose to come find her when she needed someone to talk to. Only the implication was when I had left Rose. Now I was the one left behind. Is this how Sarah Jane felt? Is this how all of them felt when I was gone? It was unbearable.

Sarah Jane. I suddenly knew who to run to.

It was just a quick trip in the Tardis. I turned up in her backyard. She had to still be here. Fate couldn't be so cruel. Could it?

I stepped out and held my breath. Maybe she wasn't home. I had told her goodbye. And here I was, breaking yet another promise. I hoped she would understand.

A door opened and a figure stepped hesitantly out. I smaller figure glided alongside.

"Doctor?"

"Master!"

She was jogging over to me, looking a little more frayed around the edges then before.

"Doctor what are you...? Where's—" She stopped, understanding dawned on her face.

This time I couldn't stop my tears. I couldn't speak. She pulled me into an embrace and I just clung to her as sobs racked my body.

Sometime later she managed to get me inside. I was very much on autopilot. She handed me a cup of tea and told me to drink and I did so without question. K—9 sat next to me and I managed to scratch him behind the ears. He wagged his tail, but said nothing. I was grateful for the silence.

"Come on, you. Upstairs. I'm going to put you to bed. You need your sleep." I let her drag me up the stairs. She made me remove my shoes and jacket before I collapsed into bed. It was the best oblivion I could have ever asked for.

Sarah Jane stood at the kitchen window looking out at the Tardis in her backyard. The Doctor had been there for nearly a week. Most of the time he slept. It was so unlike him to mope about.

"Mistress? Is Master all right?"

"I don't know, K—9. He's had his heart broken. No one recovers from that easily. Not even the Doctor."

"He will get better?"

"Given some time, I should think so."

"Get up, Doctor." Sarah Jane sat on the edge of the bed, looking at a ruffled mess of brown hair.

No response.

"I know you can hear me, so there is no point of ignoring me. You've been mopping about long enough. It's not healthy to stay abed so long. So get up, take a shower, and get dressed. I got some of your clothes out of the Tardis. If you don't I'll send K—9 in and he'll zap you."

"You wouldn't," the lump of bed covers said.

"TRY me." She gave the lump a good whack.

"All right, all right!"

She was right, of course. I couldn't spend the rest of my life in bed, wallowing in self pity. As much as I wanted to, Rose wouldn't have wanted that. Cheesy, I know.

We ended up on the sofa, mugs of tea in hand and I told her what had happened with Torchwood, the Cybermen and the Daleks. I told her what happened to Rose.

"But surely there is someway to reach her. There has to be." Sarah Jane argued. "You can't give up, Doctor! You never give up!"

"What can I do against the void! It's the VOID!" I sat there in a huff. "Unless...there is a small possibility that the smallest of holes still exists... It's a long shot, but... I wonder why I didn't think of that before."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Go. Find it. Say your goodbyes."

I looked at her. And gave her my best of grins. "My Sarah Jane." I set down his mug and gave her a big hug.

"That's my Doctor." She returned it. "Now, promise me goodbye."

"I'm sorry I had to break it."

"And I understand. I always thought I'd see Rose..." She stopped and took a deep breath. "Well, goodbye Doctor. And good luck. I have faith in you. You'll do whatever it takes. Even if you have to destroy a whole universe."

"Oh, I don't think it will take that much," I said, giving my head a scratch. I looked at her. I saw our past playing out in her eyes. "Goodbye, Sarah Jane." I stood up and put on my coat. "Goodbye, K—9. Take good care of her, you hear?"

"Affirmative. Goodbye, Master."

I gave them one good look before I was out the door. I would find a way to give Rose a proper goodbye. I owed her that much. And more, but it would be all that I would be able to give.


End file.
